I am the middle child of three adopted girls. My sisters and I were never discouraged from talking about our adoptions or asking questions. Our parents enjoyed telling us our adoption stories. The topic was always open. There was, however, a heavily implied emotional response from our parents, especially our mom. We never wanted to get too far into it because we didn’t want them to feel as if they weren’t enough. Birth parentswere never put down in any way, but there was definitely an us vs. them type of mentality going on. We were basically taught that nurture was everything and nature didn’t matter. It was like us sharing our family’s blood meant nothing.
Now, I had a positive adoption experience growing up. I never felt negatively about my adoption or my birth family. I have been in many adoption forums and heard many different thoughts and perspectives from all around the adoption triad. I never wanted to search for my birth family until after I had kids. Later, I reunited with my biological family. If I had known, back when I was little, as much about families and adoption as I do now, I would have told my parents there was nothing to be scared of in regard to our birth parents. There is no reason to fear our connection to them. There is no reason to fear our curiosity. You are our parents. Period. I sometimes wonder though where that fear originated from.
READ FULL ARTICLE: https://adoption.com/why-adoptive-parents-shouldnt-fear-birth-parents
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