Children who are adopted start their adoption searches at differing ages. I didn’t search for my parents until I was 34. There are many reasons for that. If I’m honest, there are probably some I haven’t even consciously recognized yet. Sometimes the desire to search comes and goes. It ebbs and flows throughout different times in life.
1. Denial - I was raised to believe my connection to my birth parents was severed with my umbilical cord. When people ask if I wanted to know them, I would honestly answer “no.” I didn’t feel like there was anything missing from my life, so there was nothing to be found. Throughout my childhood, this is where my feelings on reunion sat.
2. Hopelessness - In a closed adoption the adopted child has little to no information. I had a case number, an attorney’s name, and a judge’s signature. Those were no help at all as all the court records are sealed. I had my date and place of birth along with a vague physical description of my biological parents. That information can seem pretty useless when you are looking for a needle in a haystack.
3. Fear of Intrusion - I had no idea how my parents’ lives played out after I was adopted. What if they had new families? What if my arrival upset them? What if I showed up as the family secret and disrupted their lives based solely on my curiosity?
READ FULL ARTICLE: https://adoption.com/5-reasons-i-put-off-searching-for-my-birth-parents
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