Why Choose Adoption Over Abortion

Finding yourself pregnant unexpectedly can seem devastating. There are many reasons you may end up that way. Whatever the reason is, it can feel extremely lonely even if you are not alone. Matters can get especially complicated if you have differing views than your family or friends. It may seem unfair, and you may just want it to go away. Unfortunately, genies don’t exist. You have to choose where you go from here, and it must be a decision you can live with.

Very simply put, adoption is a beginning and abortion is an end. Choosing to end a pregnancy is a very personal choice. It is one that has always been and will always be argued. When you make that choice, you will go to a bright, cold clinic. You will have a doctor remove that baby from your body, successfully ending his life. You are in pain and bleeding until your body recovers. Then you are free to resume your life, as it was before, like it never happened.

When you make the choice to place your baby for adoption, you will go to a bright, cold hospital. You will have a doctor deliver that baby from your body, successfully beginning his life. You will feel like your heart is being ripped from your chest as they give the baby to someone else. You will find some semblance of comfort in the knowledge that you handpicked the people who would be the best parents for him. That is only the beginning.

The mom and dad you matched with your birth son will feel immense joy in every smile that boy gives. They will beam with pride at his first steps. As he grows, he will touch the lives of everyone around him. He will be Sally’s first kiss and Mr. Pearson’s favorite student. He’ll be the winner of the third-grade spelling bee. He’ll have siblings, friends, coaches, and classmates. He will be unique and special to all those who love him, and he’ll make mistakes because he is human.

READ FULL ARTICLE: https://adoption.com/why-choose-adoption-over-abortion

A Life Taken, A Life Given

*GUEST POST by my sister Kristina Wood

On March 28th, 2016, our dad passed away only four months after being diagnosed with cancer. This was the first time I met my oldest half-sister. Bittersweet as it was, I was grateful for the opportunity to meet her, and it was like we had known each other all our lives. Three days later, still grieving the loss of my dad, I was at home standing on the balcony of my upstairs apartment as the sun was setting when my phone rang. My mom sounded upset and told me that something from her past had come to light. I stood there with my mouth hung open as my mom told me that five years before I was born, she and my dad had a baby girl that they placed for adoption.

I quietly listened to her pour out her heart and was patient while she laid down her burdens of guilt, shame, and fear. Taking a deep breath, I assured her that I didn’t harbor any hatred, judgment, or resentment towards her because of her decisions. My mind was racing; I had so many questions, but I was silent. I thought to myself, “We’ve been through this before; it should make it easier,” and yet, I was angry. I was angry because my parents made the decision to keep this a secret my whole life; I was angry because I felt like they didn’t trust us to love them unconditionally regardless of their choices as young adults; I was angry because I had been deceived, had spent my whole life thinking I was the oldest of only two biological children, and then just three days after the death of my father, discovered that I am the middle child.

I found myself grieving not only for my dad, but also for my mom, who had carried this weight alone all these years. I grieved for the sister I didn’t even know yet, for the life we never shared together, the memories we never got to make. After so much loss in my life in the last several years, I had been given this amazing gift. Another older sister to turn to for advice and counsel. Two amazing nephews to watch grow up, celebrate their successes and encourage them in their failures. A life had been taken, but I was given so much more. All of his girls were finally connected, able to build relationships that would last a lifetime.

*Guest post by my sister, Kristina Wood

READ FULL ARTICLE: https://adoption.com/a-life-taken-a-life-given

Things I Wish My Biological Mother Knew

I was adopted at birth. I have been working with various members of the adoption triad for years through online communities. Birth mothers have been some of the most selfless, altruistic people I have ever known. They can be the strongest, most kind-hearted people. Often, a birth mother has many questions about the child they placed. I reunited with my birth family two years ago. While there currently aren’t words to accurately cover all of the emotions I feel about my birth mother, here are five things I wish she knew:

I have loved you since before I knew you. When you carried me inside of you, a bond was formed. It’s a connection that I never knew existed until I met you. I have no memory of you from when I was a baby. Even still, my heart recognized you. Our reunion was not the stuff of TV drama. There weren’t flowing tears while the whole world watched. There was a humble embrace, and at that moment I knew I’d found a home I didn’t know I needed.

I cannot thank you enough for the sacrifice you made for me.  I always had a deep appreciation for your actions, but that was catapulted to a whole new level after I gave birth to my sons. I’ve watched videos of the journeys birth moms have chosen, and I have wept for them, wept for you. I absolutely do not know where you found the strength to say goodbye. Even if someone could guarantee that the child’s life would be better off somewhere else, I wholly believe I would be too selfish to let them go.

READ FULL ARTICLE: https://adoption.com/things-i-wish-my-biological-mother-knew

How Adoption Started

Adoption has been around for as long as families have. There may not have been official terms or laws in place, but willing parents have always been given children who would not or could not have been taken care of otherwise. Before the 20th century, such actions were done in secret, and the children were deemed illegitimate, a word that came with devastating social ramifications. Most adoptions were done out of love for the children, but some were done merely for profit. For that reason, American adoption has a bit of a tawdry past.

The Massachusetts Adoption Act in 1891 is widely considered the first “modern” adoption law. It recognized adoption as a social and legal operation based on a child’s welfare. From 1854 to 1929, orphan trains took as many as 250,000 orphans from New York and other Eastern cities to Midwestern and Western states, as well as Canada and Mexico, for adoption. Adults chose children from on display at the train station with little to no regulation or oversight. The practice started as a way to help the 30,000 abandoned children on the streets of New York. It ended with the beginning of organized foster care.

Minnesota passed laws in 1917 requiring investigations prior to adoption and the closing of records. That later led to the national standards including pre-placement inquiry, post-placement probation, and confidentiality. The intention was to benefit children, but adult preferences sometimes came before children’s needs. Baby farming was common then. Unregulated and untrained women would care for children for pay. Many of the children were abused, neglected, or murdered. The adoptions were more profitable if the kids didn’t survive to accrue additional costs. During that time, babies were bought and sold like commodities. Some doctors and midwives worked as for-profit adoption brokers for unwed mothers and prostitutes. Legal action was taken against baby farming in the 1920s.

READ FULL ARTICLE: https://adoption.com/how-adoption-started/