Thursday, July 12, 2018

What Is an Adoption Forum and Why Should I Care?

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An adoption forum is an online community for anyone whose life has been touched by adoption. It is a great place to have questions answered, get advice, and have discussions with others who can relate to your situation. An adoption forum can be an awesome resource to find accurate information and relatable experiences.
Adoption forums can have many different sections for all sorts of different circumstances. Ones for adoptive parents, birth parents, hopeful adoptive parents, and foster parents give helpful insights. These sections provide a space to ask each other for advice, seek out parenting resources, or simply get support after a bad day. Parenting from any angle is not an easy task, and forums help build each other up for the benefit of everyone.
Some forums are dedicated to international adoption. Adopting from another country can be a long, stressful process. You might find one specifically centered around the country you chose to adopt from. You can get tips and suggestions from parents who have been through the process before. Parents can support each other through the ups and downs of their international adoption journey.
Search and reunion forums are helpful for adoptees and birth families. Each party can get advice on how to best proceed with their search. The forum members also provide emotional support for each other during the reunion process and afterwards. Many people assume that a reunion is the end of a journey, but often it’s only the beginning. An adoption forum offers a place for people to be open and honest about their feelings without fear of judgment.

3 Reasons to Tell Your Adopted Child His Birth Mother Was Addicted to Drugs

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It’s never fun being the bearer of bad news, especially when it involves your child. You don’t want to see that look in his eyes that reflects disappointment or pain. Sometimes as parents though we have to do the hard jobs, the ones no one else wants to do. If your parenting journey involves an adopted child, you must decide whether or not to tell him the secrets of his past. You may have to tell him that his birth mother was addicted to drugs. It may seem easier to sweep all that under the rug and consider it irrelevant. Sparing your child that conversation may feel like the right thing to do, but it’s not. When your child grows into an adult, you have a responsibility to tell him. Here’s why.
1. It’s his story. No matter how sad or devastating his adoption story may seem to you, it belongs to your child. That story is part of his past, and therefore, a part of his identity. All of who a person becomes is made from the tiny details that have occurred over a lifetime. Also, knowing his birth mother was addicted to drugs may go a long way in his reconciliation of why he was placed for adoption. It’s a big deal to an adoptee to know the reason why a birth parent chose not to parent him. Being addicted to drugs is a reasonable explanation.
2. It’s his future. Society has been going back and forth for years about whether drug addiction is a disease or not. Some say it’s hereditary, while others disagree. I’m not going to get into that debate, but I will say that it should be up to your child to decide how to use that information. He may want to watch his substance consumption for possible signs of addiction. He may choose not to drink at all in light of the situation of his placement. It’s also possible that the news won’t change his behavior at all. The point is that it’s his decision to make.