The thought of never seeing your child again can be truly heartbreaking. Knowing that he or she turned out okay can be a very comforting thing. Without that, you may feel lost in your circumstances. Being able to have a relationship with that child may be something that has been in the back of your mind for a while. It’s easy to understand that with all of the happy reunion stories you see in the news from people using DNA sites to find their families. Even though DNA tests are helping droves of adoptees to find birth family, there are still adoptees who don’t know how to use their results to find answers. Some of those people don’t know where to turn for help, so they simply think their matches aren’t close enough to be useful. It makes it really easy if your DNA is already on file, and it pops up as a match right away. One day your child may come looking for you. I am a firm believer in expecting the worst and hoping for the best. Don’t give up hope. You may see your child again, or you may not. But it’s not over until it’s over.
As an adoptee, I can tell you that it is likely that your child went on to have an amazing life. I can’t tell you why some adoptees choose to search for their birth families and some don’t. It’s a completely different experience for everyone. I looked for mine after I had kids because I wanted to know more about where I came from. I didn’t know if I would want a relationship when I found them, but I knew that I wanted to learn more. Even adoptees who decide not to search usually hold a special place in their hearts for their birth parents.