I have been an active part of the adoption community for many years. I have heard all kinds of experiences when it comes to reuniting with birth family. Some of them are pretty crazy. The only consistent fact is that you have no idea what you are walking into. I am a firm believer in expecting the worst and hoping for the best. Here are some things that may help you prepare emotionally for reunion:
1. You may catch some grief from your adoptive parents for wanting to search.
This is not always the case. Some adoptive parents are very supportive of a reunion. Over the years though I have seen many wonderful parents inadvertently guilt trip their adopted children over a sense of their own insecurity. You might consider speaking with them to assuage any worries they may have.
2. Prepare a list of questions that are important to you.
Make the list now while your head is clear, and address the questions in the beginning stagesof contact in case the reunion is unsuccessful.
3. Not all reunions work out.
Unfortunately, reunions are not always like you see on TV. For all of the exceptionally joyous reunions, there are an equal number of utterly heartbreaking ones. Be prepared for anything.
4. Your birth parents may not still be living.
A lot can happen in two decades. This is why it is important not to wait if you are considering searching. My birth father passed away three days before I found my family.
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