*GUEST POST by my sister Kristina Wood
On March 28th, 2016, our dad passed away only four months after being diagnosed with cancer. This was the first time I met my oldest half-sister. Bittersweet as it was, I was grateful for the opportunity to meet her, and it was like we had known each other all our lives. Three days later, still grieving the loss of my dad, I was at home standing on the balcony of my upstairs apartment as the sun was setting when my phone rang. My mom sounded upset and told me that something from her past had come to light. I stood there with my mouth hung open as my mom told me that five years before I was born, she and my dad had a baby girl that they placed for adoption.
I quietly listened to her pour out her heart and was patient while she laid down her burdens of guilt, shame, and fear. Taking a deep breath, I assured her that I didn’t harbor any hatred, judgment, or resentment towards her because of her decisions. My mind was racing; I had so many questions, but I was silent. I thought to myself, “We’ve been through this before; it should make it easier,” and yet, I was angry. I was angry because my parents made the decision to keep this a secret my whole life; I was angry because I felt like they didn’t trust us to love them unconditionally regardless of their choices as young adults; I was angry because I had been deceived, had spent my whole life thinking I was the oldest of only two biological children, and then just three days after the death of my father, discovered that I am the middle child.
I found myself grieving not only for my dad, but also for my mom, who had carried this weight alone all these years. I grieved for the sister I didn’t even know yet, for the life we never shared together, the memories we never got to make. After so much loss in my life in the last several years, I had been given this amazing gift. Another older sister to turn to for advice and counsel. Two amazing nephews to watch grow up, celebrate their successes and encourage them in their failures. A life had been taken, but I was given so much more. All of his girls were finally connected, able to build relationships that would last a lifetime.

*Guest post by my sister, Kristina Wood